Talking to your partner is a big part of any relationship. The ability to communicate with your significant other is a wonderful thing. You can talk about common interests, wild fantasies or even work related situations. My fiance loves to talk about work, she loved her job had a great boss, worked with a great group of people in a very exciting department and then it happened. Her old boss got promoted, moved to a new department and was replaced by a total tit. Now what does this have to do with flying? How on earth does this have anything to do with life as a flight attendant? It shouldn't but it does. This also has to do with inappropriate conversations, the airplane and a flight where I had to listen to the other side of the story from a women you had cost me countless hours of my life already. That is right I had the pleasure of being this brainless twits inflight service for a flight where she was returning from yet another vacation.
On the odd occasion I run into someone I know on the plane. Old high school crushes, friends of my fathers, I even met my fiance on a flight (story for another day). This flight started out as many others do, we were boarding and I was greeting people as they enter the aircraft. All the usual hellos, welcomes, thanks for joining us. When a lady comes on with the strangest look on her face. I thought to myself "Have I slept with you?" Not that she is even in my league but I mean we do have those odd nights when we lower our standards and do something we regret. She is obviously with her husband, obviously remembers me from somewhere and obviously doesn't want to connect the dots as to why. She is very uncomfortable in her own skin right about now. I think if she could she would run off the plane and wait for a slow boat back to her country of origin. I must look like someone cause I honestly have no idea who she is and I am very good with faces and names.
Now it only gets worse cause she is sitting in the very front of the aircraft. The very first row. Planes are a very loud environment and many people forget that important piece of information. When you talk on a plane it usually carries because you are talking much louder than you think you are. Not a good thing if you are talking about sensitive information that you want or should be trying to keep to yourself.
Shortly after takeoff service begins and finally the question is asked. I am going through with items for purchase and she just blurts out. "Are you married to (Insert real name of my fiance here)?" I jokingly reply "No, not yet so you have until September to make me an offer." I was thinking to myself must be one of Jen's (names changed to protect the innocent) friends from home or Facebook or something. She replies defensively "I am married, this is my husband" The guy beside her is laughing as he got the joke, but this lady is very oblivious. I tell her, "Well my number is on the napkins so if things don't work out you know where to get a hold of me." Her husband is smiling and leans over and finally explains "He is joking" and he laughs while she just looks more confused over what a "joke" is.
I continue on with my service. I think wow Jen's really got some stunned friends. That is some really funny stuff I had just said and she still looked confused. Like she didn't want to really be there? I should go and formally introduce myself and maybe figure out if they are coming to the wedding or angry because they weren't invited. I return about a half hour later and see that they are still wide awake and I introduce myself. "Hi I am Tony, Jen's fiance. Small world eh?" Her husband says nice to meet you with a very friendly smile and shakes my hand. Still with a socially awkward disposition on her face the lady beside him says "I am Stacey I was Jen's boss. She left the team shortly after I arrived and I am sure she is happier where she is now because she is working with a guy that she likes in that department." I am now looking at the pale faced devil. My poker face has gone out the window. This is the girl who managed to make my fiance leave the one thing in the world she loved more than me. The best position in a very big fortune 500 company with more perks than you could shake a stick at. She is now on a part of that same company in a new department that deals with not so fun, not so perk-filled things and might even be losing her job since she is the newest member of that team and they are downsizing.
I now get where she might not have been to pleased to see me when she got on the plane. I thought she was stunned but maybe she does know that she made a huge mistake. She knows that countless hours of my life have been spent recounting each and every one of her bad moves as one after another of her team up and left cause they could no longer handle this witch.
What comes next is a complete detailed explanation as to why my fiance left the team from the other side of the story. On a plane where everyone for 4 rows can hear what those reasons were. Her husband even interjects at one point and says "Don't worry I hear about this work stuff all the time". Well that is all well and fine but I imagine it is in the privacy of your own home and you can go off to the bedroom and role play afterwards. But you are on a plane. Complete strangers are all around you, your talking very loud. While you are trying to not make yourself look like the complete socially awkward idiot, you just did. Nicely done. The people directly behind her are just shaking their heads. Stuff being said is not appropriate at all. Worst part is I have nowhere to go.
I often wondered when I heard story after story about her new boss not being around. Seeing the cancellation notices as she was again too busy for another meeting. Arriving late for many conference calls. Asking for the same information each and every month like clockwork. Calling while we are on vacation for the most trivial of things. I wondered if she was really that stupid or was Jen exaggerating. No this girl is clueless, maybe book smart but overall.... Stunned. Even after Jen had left the team she was still getting meeting invites, and requests for the location of almost every spreadsheet the department ever used. This girl while being her boss was a complete airhead with far too much on her plate. Still in school and milking a big pay cheque out of this company as she honestly does very little for herself and relies on the others on her team to get results.
This isn't even the first time I have flown with co workers of my fiance. On a flight I where I was commuting I ran into the VP of her former department. We had a few beer talked casually about Jen, her old boss and other people we knew in passing. Very diplomatic he was as he said "Jen was a very valuable asset to her department, she will be missed". Wow look at that this guy know not only her name but the exact right thing you should say, if you say anything at all. We than talked about other more important things before falling asleep. Sleeping on a plane is a wonderful thing I really can't stress that enough.
So from our lesson today we know know that on a plane we talk to loud so we should all learn that talking about the wrong things is bad. Keep it to a minimum. Don't provoke the flight attendants. Save venting about work for your loved ones and role play your aggression out.
Till the next time keep that seat belt fastened and keep sleeping.
